When you feel that you’re stuck in a passionless relationship, it’s very likely you’re not making it up. You probably have some genuine and legitimate reasons why you think that there is no romance in your relationship.
Sometimes romance can bring up strong reactions in people. It might create tension in your relationship because your partner expects you to be romantic, but you can’t. You feel upset and frustrated with your relationship, as it’s not the one you wanted. Anger, resentment, and regret sets in your relationship as you can’t see the romance you had during the early days of your relationship.
The following 5 methods will help you to regain the romance in your relationship.
1. Spend Time Together
Spending more time together creates great opportunities for romance. Remember that your relationship is about more than just the daily activities. Have fun together. Play a question game where you ask one another 100 questions about each other’s lives. Act as though you are just dating. This will make your partner feel special and also give you the opportunity to share details about yourself and bond. Another great way to bond is by taking up a new hobby or activity together. The more you share in common the easier it will be to foster a romantic connection.
2. Identify Love Language and Deliver It
This is an important step but rarely executed. Dr. Gary Chapman’s “Five Love Languages” book really should be required reading for everyone interested in having a romantic relationship.
The book describes the various love languages we all ‘speak.’ Knowing your partner’s love language is fundamental in a relationship because while you can love someone with every fiber in your body unless you are conveying that love in a way they can understand it, they’ll never truly feel loved (and desired).
Don’t start what you ain’t willing to maintain, it’s another bit of brilliant pre-marital advice I often heard. Committed relationships require “sticktoitiveness.” When you think back to the beginning of the relationship, there were dates, flowers, appreciation, compliments, sweet gestures and messages. You also most likely touched a lot more. Types of touching, hand holding, hugging, caressing and cuddling, as well as more intimate touch and sex. Bring back those early relationship days by making time for romantic gestures, daily. And if you find that you don’t know what to do, don’t be afraid to ask your partner what they need and want.
4. Re-evaluate Your Words
Are you saying, “I love you,” so often that it has lost its meaning? Of course, there is nothing wrong with expressing love often. It is important that your loved one feels that your words are sincere. Express genuine love so that it enters your lover’s heart.
5. Don’t Be Afraid To Take The Lead
Women often leave the job of romance to their partners, but you should never be afraid to take the lead. Look for ways to show your partner you care in ways that he will appreciate. Remember, what is romantic to him may not be romantic to you. Taking him to a favorite childhood haunt or treating him to a surprise gift is both sweet ways to show you care. When he sees you taking charge in the romance department, he may then look for ways to reciprocate.
6. Fight Fair
You’ll inevitably argue with your partner, but you should be smart about voicing your disagreement. It’s important to remember that not everything needs to be addressed immediately. Talking is extremely important, but it’s also important to speak with your partner just as compassionately or kindly as you would speak with a colleague or friend.
7. Learn New Thing About Your Partner.
Even after years of being together, consider that you don’t know everything about your partner and that there is a nugget just waiting to be discovered. It doesn’t have to be something big, like discovering that your partner has a soft spot in him. Being curious about your partner lets them surprise and delight you.
No matter how perfectly matched you are with your partner, there will be a time when the romance wanes. The best approach to resolve this situation is to get curious, stop looking to blame someone and try to get an explanation why you feel stuck and what behaviors you and your partner have that brought your relationship to this point